Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize