Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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