Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you made out with another girl for some wings
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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