I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
