Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
