I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
