"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
sex in a hospital.. check
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
