apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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