Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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