oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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