he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize