this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
