2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
