First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
