If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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