He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
