That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Screwed.edu
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
