evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
