Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
