Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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