OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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