is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
