I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
