it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
