I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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