you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
