I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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