Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
