Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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