OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
