HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
