He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
