Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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