When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize