How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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