He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
