he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
