The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
