I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
