so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
