who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
