What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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