The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
