its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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