My balls are so social today.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
