I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize