trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
