i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
