We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize