I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
