My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
