If that was your dad, he is hot
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
