I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
