we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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