this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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