I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just invented taco cereal.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
