I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
